Give the Gift of Self-regulation to a Child this Season

Teaching your children to regulate their own emotions is a gift that will stay with them throughout their lives and help them reach their goals. We all run into difficult situations, even during the holidays. These situations are perfect opportunities to model for our children how to handle stress.

Hopefully you will have some extra time to spend with your children this holiday season. Here are a few simple things you can do to improve your child's self-regulation:

• Take a little extra time to spend one-on-one with your children. It's easier to hear what they have to say and to communicate what you would like for them to hear from you when there are just two of you.
• Tell stories of your family traditions and how they came to be. Family traditions provide a child with a strong sense of identity and connectedness that serve as the foundation for healthy self-control.
• Communicate the need to be thankful for what they have, and the importance of helping others. The holiday season provides opportunities to give back to those who may be less fortunate.
• Try and remember to "guide" children to come to a healthy conclusion when they struggle with social/emotional issues. We are often too busy, or have a strong desire to "fix" things quickly. Helping children learn to problem-solve on their own is a skill that will help them to be more successful no matter what challenges they may face.

Taking a few minutes to help your children learn self-regulation is a gift that will continue to produce rewards in all areas of their lives. Those who regulate well are more successful:

• in social relationships
• in school with better grades
• in self-care and physical health
• in sports
• at achieving their goals
• in life in general 

Enjoy your holiday season and give a gift that truly keeps on giving.

Brad Chapin, LCP, LMLP
brad.chapin@cpschallenge.com