I see professionals and parents struggling a great deal with how to respond to bullying scenarios. Remember, we don't need to deviate from what we know are effective ways to change behavior.
#1 Self-Regulation: From either perspective (bully or victim), remember to teach the child how to focus on his/her responsibility in the situation. It is easy for the situation to become "cloudy" when several people are involved and "fingers are being pointed" in all directions. Visit www.cpschallenge.com for a tool to help you with this, from both the Bully's and from the Victim's perspectives.
#2 Motivation: What is the child's motivation for continuing the behavior? Is there a psychological need being met through the behavior? This is a definite area to explore if you are working with a Bully. Does this child have a strong need for leadership, group affiliation, adjusting for low self-esteem, being a comedian, or expressing anger? Help the child find a more healthy way to meet the need. Sometimes Victims are also having a psychological need that is being met by being "the victim." Don't forget to explore Motives.
#3 Use Cognitive & Behavioral Interventions: We know for a fact that Cognitive-behavioral interventions create change. So, if change is what we are after, don't shy away from what works. Gather some quick data, challenge the identified unhealthy thoughts leading to the unwanted behavior and maximize behavioral interventions including consequences (positive and negative), modeling, social pressures, and environmental changes. The Challenge Software Program can help with the Cognitive portion of this.
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